I've done a bad bad thing. I've become engrossed in Melrose Place. I did recently say when SOAPnet starts with season 1 I'll set the dvr each day. Up until this point I had been watching season five at 6 & 7am on Saturday mornings. I don't know why I woke up that early, but it felt ok to watch the show. Target wasn't open that early so it's not like I could waste my time shopping. Now I record two episodes daily - 11am and noon. At first the show was terrible. I would watch and fold clothes, change the sheets on my bed, dust, and work on my basket weaving, but now it's getting good and I don't want to do anything else but focus on the show.
The description of the most recent episode I watched (from imdb):
Season 1, Episode 12: Polluted Affairs
Original Air Date: 21 October 1992
Just as Alison's new career at D&D takes off, she meets a marine biologist named Keith Gray, and falls for him immediately. But she is hurt when she discovers that he is married. Meanwhile, Billy has some stress with paying off a $2,000 student loan that he took while at college and blew off, although his college tuition was paid by his parents.
That show synopsis doesn’t even mention Jane’s eating disorder/body image problem which lasted the entire episode. Glad they were able to resolve that in 43 minutes along with Alison and Billy’s problems. I was nervous. This made me realize, they weren’t so great about carrying stories like that over into the next episode back in the early days. It was very similar to 90210 in that way (same creator, makes sense). Remember the sleepover at Brenda’s from what I think was season 1? The bitchy girl was there and asked Andrea, “Why do they call you Uhn-drayuh?” I do believe we also learned about Kelly’s date rape, “He didn’t even put a blanket down.” Finally bitchy popular girl, not Kelly, has to leave but her diet pills dump out of her purse. Shit. The girls are shocked; she’s pissed and DOES NOT HAVE A PROBLEM. Fortunately, the girls use the remaining minutes wisely, convince her she does in fact have an eating problem, she cries, wants help and they end with all of the girls eating big bowls of ice cream. She will never take another pill. They totally should’ve done an episode 3 seasons later when she’s like 400 pounds and Kelly Taylor and Steve won’t give her the time of day. Then she commits suicide and it’s all their fault.
And back to Melrose….like I said, this was the first episode that made me focus on the episode. That didn’t actually happen until a few minutes into the episode. I know Billy was getting calls and he’s all cool bragging it must be the girl from Shooters he gave his number to the night before. He calls her back only to learn she’s debt collector and wants the money from a student loan Billy has defaulted on. Billy is whining because it’s not fair that he has to pay it. He goes to the woman’s office and is a total jerk. Why should he pay it back when he can’t afford to? God forbid he should get a second job and earn more money. It’s not his fault, it’s the economy. Can’t she see that? Well do you think the woman likes using her English Lit degree at her current job? She reminds Billy he’s a grown up so go cry to someone else. Billy takes her advice and cries to Alison, Jake and Michael. Alison is all, dude grow up and ask your parents to help out. I think Alison means ask them for a loan because otherwise, how is that being a grown up!? Jake is all, dude that blows, dude. But Micheal? He’s awesome. He flat out calls Billy a deadbeat, blames him for not being able to get a loan for med school and having to borrow money from Jane’s parents. Billy pouts and sulks his way back into his apartment. What will he do??
Jane on the other hand needs to lose the five pounds she gained when she was pregnant (she miscarried the episode prior). She attempts to go Tracey Gold Moment of Truth Anorexia Movie exercise crazy, but thanks to Alison and Billy, she doesn’t get enough screen time. It’s all good though because we know her problem is intense right away. She takes Rhonda’s aerobics class- the advanced class. Rhonda is portrayed by Vanessa L. Williams, how she never won even an EMMY nomination for her acting I’ll never understand. She wants Jane to take it easy cause ya know, she just lost a baby. Jane just wants Rhonda to freaken teach the class and let Jane start burning some calories. An interesting note here, when Jane showed up for the class she said she decided to use her lunch break time for the class (see, we know the problem is severe!) and then in the very next scene, it’s the same day but morning as Billy wishes Alison a good day. Nice time consistency there.
So. Alison meets the marine biologist and totally flakes on work. I’m sorry, she “spaced” on work. Seriously. She didn’t stay late to help her boss, showed up late the next morning and her apology was, “I’m sorry, I spaced.” Alison is head over heels in love with the marine biologist dork after one date. You know something bad is going to happen when she sleeps with him after like two dates. Tsk tsk good girl Alison. A lesson MUST be learned. She screws work again, to ahem, screw him, only she overhears a conversation he’s having…with his wife. BWAH!! She storms off all sad. Then she cries to Billy because she might never love again. Like Billy cares? He has to come up with 2 grand. That alone makes me laugh. I can’t wait for my student loans to be down to $2,000.
Back to Billy, he goes to talk to his parents. They paid for his whole education. Say what? He took out that loan because he worked at the school paper, didn’t get paid and needed to party like his college friends. You spoiled brat. It’s not like the money even went towards your education. Try walking into a bar now and not paying, or maybe ordering pizza and not paying the delivery man. Ugh, I hate you Billy. Now I must’ve stepped out of the room for a minute because I don’t know what his mom said when he told her that, but he didn’t get the money. I think that’s when he came home to Melrose Place and had the conversation with Jake and Michael. Finally, Michael’s words hit home because in Billy’s next scene he’s back at the debt collector’s office to see what he can do to fix the problem. Time to grovel. Maybe he can make a payment plan? The woman said she was going to suggest that be he flipped out and left. She starts to “run some numbers” so they can get this resolved. Problem solved.
Jane still isn’t eating and is not too happy even though she’s lost the last 5 pounds. She explains to Micheal she thought losing the last five pounds would remove the sadness she feels over the lost baby. Michael lets her know it doesn’t work that way and he’s still snapping at people. I think they might like us to believe maybe that’s why he snapped at Billy? But I don’t buy that, the writers aren’t that deep or consistent. Ya see, Michael always seems to overreact. He’s kind of a jerk a lot of the time. None of that matters now because Michael makes Jane smile and while she doesn’t sit at a table and eat a bowl of ice cream, I think she’s going to be okay next week. Whew.
Alison is still messing up at work, I mean spacing. Seems she can’t get over marine bio guy. He really does look old and dork-ish and clearly, with the whole wife thing, he can’t be trusted. But she was in love. The boss tells her not to be that girl, to stop blowing off work and get her priorities right. The boss even said she wants Alison to get promoted but Alison just wants love. Don’t you get that? I don’t. When the episode ends, that story actually does carry over. She goes back to marine bio guy because he swears his marriage is over. I cannot wait to watch this fall apart. She’ll never love again! I can hear her whining. Bring it on.
There you have one episode from season one. The one I think is a turning point. At least it is for me. This show is so bad I love it. It’s perfect for the summer. You can guess every line each character is going to say. This particular episode was like a PSA for the college loan people – “Don’t be a deadbeat, pay your loans. You are only hurting yourself and your relationship with your peers.” Sometimes, I yell out lines and guess the endings and laugh my ass off when it happens on the screen. Why can’t I spec this show??? It would be fun and I’d totally write a kick ass episode.
I can’t wait until I get home tonight. Melrose is my reward. Don’t laugh. If I use it as a reward I feel less guilty for watching it when I could be writing or weaving those baskets. The other night I went to the track so I was allowed to waste almost an hour watching the episode. My mind and body are only healthy when I’m excited about TV; exercise alone can’t do that!
Who knew, the Tuesday night two weeks before the start of the season would cause scheduling conflicts for my DVR? FOX, CW and ABC Family are all new tonight. It’s only going to get worse when CBS, NBC and ABC shows return with new seasons. Although NBC and ABC might not present (more) conflicts on Tuesday night (Dancing, yawn). I’ll have to wipe the dust off of my DVR and show it some love. Yes, I know it’s an inanimate object.
